We are once again glued to our seats at home as Season 2 of Oxygen’s Killer Relationships with Faith Jenkins debuts. This real crime series, which is hosted by Faith Jenkins, explores chillingly diabolical tales of love gone wrong and break-ups that turn murderous. Faith Jenkins visited The Official Black Magazine to discuss the recently concluded season and to share some advice on what she has come to recognize as relationship red lights, indications that it may be time to move on, and a reminder that there is support available.     

Cox: Faith I’m excited to speak with you about season 2 of Killer Romance on Oxygen. Let me know what’s happening and going on in this new season.  
Jenkins: I’m really excited, first of all, that we have a season 2 of Killer Relationships. It went really well and resonated with a lot of viewers. And I think it’s because most of us can relate to having a relationship, even if it’s not just a romantic relationship but just with people we connect with. But most of us cannot relate to when that relationship goes sour, and someone has to die. So, people tune in because they want to know what happened and how something that started out so great could end so badly. 

Cox: That’s definitely true! And when you are getting these stories for the show, do you see where the red flags were early on for us to know that the person would go down this path? Or is it more so that you just don’t know what someone’s capable of until it’s too late?  
Jenkins: There are certain warning signs that I think are universal that let you know it’s time to move on. Things. And when you see those red flags, you don’t need to stay around to see how red those flags are. It’s the same for when things have been crazy in the relationship; you don’t’ need to stick around and see just how crazy it gets.   

People who are deeply insecure are common in some cases. These people are controlling in their relationships, and they disguise it as I love you so much. That’s why they need to know where you are every second of the day. Those are not good things to have in a healthy relationship. 

But then there is the other side of it. A lot of the cases that we cover on the show involve people who don’t have a history of violence. But then, at that moment, they commit the ultimate crime, and someone dies. This is generally from a buildup of resentment or from someone who has a deep, dark secret. Like this show this past Sunday night, there was a big secret that was about to be exposed, and this person was afraid of that happening. So, they thought the only way he could stop it from happening was to kill someone he knew and once loved.   

So, it’s not just one big smoking gun because every relationship is different. But you do have those universal signs you can look out for but then you also just must know a lot of times you take a risk when it comes to love. Being on these dating streets you hope that you’re doing your best, making good choices and that you’re picking someone who’s going to grow with you and not grow against you.   

Cox: Speaking of flags, are there any type of green flags that we can see in someone that lets us know that this isn’t necessarily a red flag? Like this is a good person they just might have some unhealed trauma, or this is just another learning curve in getting to know someone?  
Jenkins: That’s a good question. I think that people’s patterns from the past don’t lie. People lie, but their patterns don’t. So, you can meet someone who is fantastic. They tell you they have cheated on every person they’ve dated, but you’re different and they’re not going to do that to you. It’s because you are the new fantastic person in their life and now, they are a new person born again. That’s not how change works. People don’t change for other people; they change for themselves. That motivation for change has to come from within.   

This is what I call a green flag that could easily turn red very soon if the change is only happening for the sake of the other person.   

Cox: Oh wow, I love that you said that. It’s definitely something important. You know talking about change, what about when you’re on this journey of healing and trying to date again? What lets us know that we are at a place in this journey to date again or that we aren’t ready yet still?   
Jenkins: First, I have never considered myself a relationship expert. I’m just going to say that, but I do consider myself a relationship student because I’ve been learning about relationships throughout my entire career, including hosting this show. But I wrote about this in my book called Sis Don’t Settle. It’s a relationship book all about how to say smart in the matters of the heart. When you’re dating one of the questions you can straight up ask someone is how healed you from your past are.   

What is the work that you have?   

Because what you don’t want to happen is that you get into a relationship with someone and you’re getting injured by them based on a previous injury that they had from the past. And this has nothing to do with you, but they’re taking it out on you.   

So, I think you just must straight up ask that person how have they healed from the past?   

Cox: With your experience and from hosting this show, how can we tell if the representative (who they want to portray for us) rather than their true self is present in the relationship?   
Jenkins: I think time reveals itself and I think also certain situations reveal themselves. I always say it’s easy to treat people well when things are going well. But how does that someone treat you when conflict arises? How does that someone treat you when there’s difficulty? How does someone treat you in adversity? That’s when someone’s true character really reveals itself. And that’s when you need to take note of who someone really is.   

Cox: That’s a good point because I know a lot of times in relationships, we make excuses and warrants for people’s actions and behaviors and how they treat us.  
Jenkins: Yes, and that’s easier said than done in a lot of these situations. One thing about this show and those cases we have we do ask that question sometime like what made someone stay. I’ve learned from working with different types of cases, some of them involving domestic violence. It’s not as easy when you’re emotionally and physically invested in a relationship and when you have children. It’s not that easy to walk away when you have all these ties.   

And when we present these cases, we make no judgement towards the victims. Because when you have a choice do I leave my home, or do I stay in my home. It’s a very difficult situation because you might face being homeless when you have to make that choice.   

There are programs and support that various communities have for people who need to have a plan to get out of a relationship that’s not working for them. These are the ones you turn to and get the support you need because no one does it alone.   

Cox: Last question before you go! What’s in store for us with season 2 compared to season 1? Like are you still shocked by some of the stories that came up for this new season?  
Jenkins: I thought I’d seen everything. I’ve been working in the criminal justice world for 15 years now and they’re still things that surprise and shock me. And in these cases, I have to tell you we interviewed a lot of the family and friends of the victim in the show. What’s so telling and revealing to me as you’ll hear from them is that they knew the victim and the perpetrator because of the nature of the relationship. And in the beginning, you always find that in most of these cases they never suspected or guessed that this person was capable of committing this kind of crime. And they even went to bat for them initially when the investigator started questioning them. Because they always start with the people closest to the victim.   

And then as the layers are peeled back through the episode, more and more are revealed. People are in for a lot of surprises this season. And one thing I do like about this show Michael is that we chose not to cover cold cases. We’re only covering cases that have been solved. There has been some kind of resolution. You think the title gives the episode away but it’s not as straightforward as you think. There are so many people and different parties involved and when you watch each episode from the beginning you keep guessing what really happened.   

But in the end, the person who was responsible is held accountable for their actions. There is that kind of closure at least for the families involved. 

Cover Photography Credit: NBC
Red Outfit Photography Credit: Harry Morgenstein and Faith Jenkins
Pink Outfit Photography Credit: Oxygen Media