Vanessa Simmons is a woman who shows us that we can have it all as long as we keep things in balance, stay focused, and know that life is all about setting priorities. As a mother, business owner, model, and actor, she has a lot of responsibilities every day that have to do with taking care of other people. But she knows that she can only take care of her family if she is fit in her mind, body, and spirit. This was a talk with someone who reminds us that, even though life can be hard at times, how things turn out depends on how we see them. And to remind you that taking care of yourself is the best way to love yourself, we should all do it.

Vanessa, You are a woman who accomplishes everything. You’re a mother, business owner, model, and actor. What’s your trick to getting everything done?
That’s a day to day balance honestly, life is all about the balance. I literally just got back from dropping my daughter off at school and getting lunch to her on time before chatting with you, so balance is essential for trying to “get it all done” and understanding that everything won’t always be perfect because perfection is impossible. Instead, I work on also prioritizing myself in the midst of what can feel chaotic. Being a mother and also working in entertainment is a blessing and I truly enjoy what I do. But to remain sane I make sure I prioritize myself by embracing self-care, and I encourage everyone, especially moms, to do the same as an approach to showing up for yourself and others on a daily basis.

You really enjoy being a mom. I’d love to hear what tips you have for other moms, both new and old, who are trying to do everything you do.
Don’t be so hard on yourself because you’ll never be able to do everything perfectly. I must start with this: you can trust me when I say it will never be perfect. Just show up every day and do your best, forget the rest. My dad says that all the time.

I was quite worried when I was pregnant with my baby. I assumed I’d have to abandon all I was doing and had planned. I thought I’d be able to focus only on becoming a mother. That is not true, and I want all moms to realize that. You can still prioritize yourself, and in fact, I recommend that they do so. Mothers must ensure that they take care of their emotional and physical health. Being a mother and taking care of everyone leaves little time for self-care.

Also, women should remember that it takes a village to raise a child, so don’t be hesitant to ask for help.

I’m not sure whether you’ve heard the phrase “mompreneur,” but it describes you, and I admire the example you’re setting. What advice would you provide to women who are considering establishing a company but don’t think they have the time because of motherhood?
Many mothers feel a lot of guilt when branching off and doing something like starting a business, but I must say starting a business does not hinder being a mother at all, I find it very rewarding and as a way to give my daughter a positive image to look up to, I look at it as an enhancement. Journaling has been a great tool for me, I try to do it every evening before falling asleep. It keeps me organized for the day ahead. I find it very beneficial because parenthood can be demanding. There are a lot of obligations and it’s easy to just get caught in Mom mode that sometimes leads us to forget about our own needs. Journaling helps me to keep everything organized which is essential for both parenthood and building a business. I would also say don’t be afraid of just taking small steps mixing parenthood with entrepreneurship can be challenging but also very rewarding, being a first time parent sometimes can feel like a deadline in a way like you have to give up on some your dreams, but if you look at it like a fresh new chapter you will find it can give you all new inspiration. After having my daughter, I felt myself mature a lot and it moved and inspired me in ways I never knew possible.

You’ve mentioned only focusing on what Vanessa is doing and no one else when it comes to your dreams and goals.
Yes, since we live in a social media world where we constantly compare ourselves to others. When individuals are continuously looking at what others are doing, it’s difficult for them to take modest steps and just focus on the day-to-day. This might make us feel like we’re falling short of our objectives. Pursuing your objectives will not be the same every day, so remember to pick yourself up and keep going.

Speaking of remaining in your own lane, how did you manage things with preconceived conceptions from people and family expectations?
My career in entertainment began before the world was introduced to me on my family’s reality show on MTV, Run’s House. Prior to appearing on the show, I was a student at St John’s University pursuing a bachelor’s degree in business/communications. In between classes, I was modeling which really set the stage for the big goals I have for myself. Many people have assumed all of my success comes from my family name , but I have put in a lot of hard work to forge my own path. Going to St John’s helped with my business savvy and even inspired launching Pastry with my sister. I absolutely credit my family for being a tremendous motivation and I’ve had a lot of individuals to look up to and seek guidance from, but ultimately my path is my own and hard work is what will make it flow.

How has it been navigating these many industries for you?
It has definitely been a trip. When Angela and I first started Pastry, I think it was difficult for some to accept me in the role of Boss. Maybe because of pre-conceived notions of coming from a prominent family people make a lot of assumptions, and questioned our ability of the task at hand. So it was really important to me as a businesswoman to make sure I do the necessary research and studies to be the best I can be in any room. In any industry, I suggest always being a student of your craft and never stop learning, I do the same with acting and business till this day. There’s always more to learn so I persist and continue to learn not only from my studies but from those around me so I can continue to show up and show out in any room.

Speaking of a variety of businesses, you recently modeled in Buttah’s recent campaign. What do you love about this business and product?
Aside from the fact that Dorion and I have been good friends for many years, this product is just great. Listen, I’m the queen of self-care. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m always at a spa, from skincare routines to spa days. And what Dorion has done with Buttah is incredible since it caters to skin that produces melanin.

I never saw a product like his on the market when I was younger. None of them were designed to even out our skin tones. So, it was critical for me to be a part of this. My skin’s glow is a direct result of utilizing its vitamin C serum and oil-free hyaluronic gel cream on a regular basis.

I’m simply very proud of Dorion because he’s worked so hard on his business and his products.

How do you prepare for your day?
Every morning, I get up at five o’clock before everyone else in the house. This allows me to journal and go through my to-do list. I’m imagining how my day will unfold. At six o’clock, I’ll be working out with my trainer. From there, I wake up my kid at seven a.m., and my day is continuous.

Can you tell me about Vanessa’s skincare routine?
After a long day, my skincare routine is my happy place. I love starting with a good steam to remove the day, any dirt, grime, makeup, or sweat. Then I go in with a great cleanser; Buttah Skin’s cleanser is great, then once a week, I like to incorporate a good mask, and I love the Buttah Charcoal Detox Mask because it removes impurities without stripping the skin of necessary oils and then top it off with a serum and moisturizer. In the evenings, I like to use Buttah’s Facial Shea Butter. It sinks in nicely overnight and helps me to wake up with a glow. It always feels like I just left a spa by the time I’m done, and I love it.

You are the self-care queen. How does that appear to you?
So, I like a nice sweat session in the sauna. That’s something I do every day, whether I’m at home with my sauna blanket or traveling to a location with an actual sauna. Working out is at the top of my list and is one of my favorite ways to practice self-care. It actually helps me clear my mind.

It may also be me relaxing and being alone. When my daughter is in school and my man is at work, I treat myself to a date every now and then. This may be a wonderful solo lunch or a visit to the meditation garden here in Los Angeles. I love going to areas where I can simply zone out, ponder, and be free for a while.

This has been a fantastic discussion with you. Before we go, I’d like to hear what your affirmations or mantras are that you live by.
I say “I am enough” over and over again to remind myself that I am enough and I am exactly where I need to be. There is no specific timetable we have to stick to in life when it comes to dreams and goals and we aren’t obligated to accomplish anything in any specific time frame, go at your own pace. Most importantly, just make sure you show up for yourself, in a way that makes you happy.

Photography Credit for Cover Image & Buttah Skin Campaign Images: Tyren Redd
Photography Credit Portrait Image of Vanessa Simmons: Jaivron Joseph